ElderCare Answers March 8, 2000

ElderCare Answers Discussion Group with host Rich O’Boyle
April 5, 2000 9:00PM to 11:00PM EST

RichOBoyle_HOST> How are you tonight Tigs and George?

[Tigs] Pretty good. . .wow I'm typing in red now!

[Tigs] No, back to blue.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Once you get the hang of it...it moves pretty quickly.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Don't worry about typos or occasional spelling errors.

[georgetwe] ...

RichOBoyle_HOST> Where are you calling in from and what is your care situation?

[Tigs] My husband has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, he's only 55, and I'm scared about what the future holds. It all looks so bleak.

[georgetwe] Well, HI, all. I signed on an hr early.

RichOBoyle_HOST> I'm so sorry to hear that Tigs :(

[georgetwe] I'm new @ this, & type slowly.---& poorly.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Now will be the scariest time since you probably are only learning about the disease.

[Tigs] Do people ever recover from Alz?

RichOBoyle_HOST> George, dont worry about the typos...I think I can read your writing :)

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RichOBoyle_HOST> Tigs, AD is a progressive and degenerative brain disease with no known cure and few treatments

[georgetwe] U did fine the other time we wrote.

[Tigs] Will it kill him eventually? The Drs told us nothing really.

RichOBoyle_HOST> There are some treatments that seem to slow the progression of the disease (like Aricept and vitamin treatment).

RichOBoyle_HOST> I believe that AD doesn't kill...infection is the biggest killer of people with AD

[Tigs] It's so sad. . .

[georgetwe] My 80 yr old wife of 54 yrs is now on Aricept.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Are you and your husband living alone? No kids at home?

RichOBoyle_HOST> George, how is she responding?

[Tigs] Kids are away at school.

[georgetwe] Just started. Don't yet know.

[Tigs] George, are you caring for her at home? I'm scared I won't be able to cope.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Some patients have had good progress with Aricept. but unfortunately not everyone :(

[Tigs] But I can't afford to pay for any care for him...what a mess.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Hello Chnkns and welcome to ElderCare Online

[georgetwe] I did as long as I could, but she's now in OK w/ our daughter, an RN.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Tigs, you have the advantage of getting an early start -- take the time to build a support network around you of friends and family and make sure you talk with an experienced elder lawyer -- legal planning NOW can save many hassles in the future.

[georgetwe] Tigs, there are many agencies whhich might help you. ROB can help u.

[Tigs] Hassles like what?

[Tigs] Who is ROB?

RichOBoyle_HOST> financial management, estate planning, making health care decisions

RichOBoyle_HOST> I am ROB :)

[Tigs] Whoops. . .sorry!

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RichOBoyle_HOST> If a person has dementia, they are considered incompetent to write a will, make certain decisions.

RichOBoyle_HOST> You need to have all of that wrapped up ASAP

RichOBoyle_HOST> I don't want it to sound dangerous, but it is a key first step.

RichOBoyle_HOST> When was your husband diagnosed?

[Tigs] Two months ago.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Please take a look at the article on "Elder Law Basics" and find a specialized elder lawyer with the Martindale-Hubbel Directory Martindale-Hubbel Legal Directory .

[Tigs] Which was good because he'd been really weird for a while.

RichOBoyle_HOST> The article is on the Legal & Financial Matters Channel

RichOBoyle_HOST> Have you spoken with him about the diagnosis?

[Tigs] He knows, and is really depressed.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Chkns: you need to type a few ..... or you will be bumped out of the chatroom

[Chnkns] Ok... just reading for now

RichOBoyle_HOST> The disease can take many years to fully manifest itself...it is different with everyone.

RichOBoyle_HOST> OK chkns...pipe in whenever.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Where are you located?

RichOBoyle_HOST> I can put you in touch with a local Alzheimer's information and support group

RichOBoyle_HOST> They can demystify the disease (as much as possible) and help you BOTH cope.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Honestly -- hands on caregiving is tough work -- very tough

[Tigs] I'm in San Francisco.

RichOBoyle_HOST> And you need to reach out to others to help you.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Please promise yourself that you will not take all of this burden on.

RichOBoyle_HOST> As the Wife, you have a commitment to your husband, but you also have to care for yourself.

[Tigs] We don't have the money to pay anyone else to help.

RichOBoyle_HOST> It isn't always $$

[georgetwe] I'm not with her, but ou daughter has had grad training in psychology. She's xlnt.

[red3] thanks, I will do that. In what ways can you redirect anger

RichOBoyle_HOST> sometimes an effective technique is to redirect anger, for example, if there is something your husband enjoys or usually occupies his time with

[red3] at the present, just watching TV, no music, doesn't do wordsearch or crosswords anymore

RichOBoyle_HOST> you can turn on the tv to a soothing program and suggest over and over that you both watch tv, or you can keep National geographic videos handy

[red3] we used to watch Animal Planet, not much anymore unless there is a dog show

[georgetwe] ROB, if I give you mny email address, and free you to share it as YOU see fit, woulcd I be able to help?

RichOBoyle_HOST> george...please take a look at the new ElderCare Forum Community Discussion Board

RichOBoyle_HOST> I think that others would respond to you if you posted comments or discussion topics

RichOBoyle_HOST> when your husband gets angry, it is important for you to remain calm!

[georgetwe] ok, thanx

[red3] I will look into the National Geographic videos, good idea

RichOBoyle_HOST> the key is communication -- calm soothing tones

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RichOBoyle_HOST> Hello Dale and Welcome to ElderCare Answers

RichOBoyle_HOST> we are discussing anger in an AD patient and how hard it is for the CG

[chnkns] ..and perhaps looking for a pattern to his anger?

RichOBoyle_HOST> yes, chckns -- looking for the trigger

[DALE] HAVE MADE GOOD PROGRESS IN MY CURRENT CAREGIVING W/ THIS ISSUE

RichOBoyle_HOST> you can also use very gentle touching to guide the patient to the sofa or chair

RichOBoyle_HOST> careful if your husband is physically violent

[red3] sometimes he wakes up in a good mood, other times very agnry

[red3] Dale, how did you do it

RichOBoyle_HOST> you might keep track of his mood swings and make notes about his caffiene intake (if any)

[red3] no caffiene

[DALE] I AM NOT SURE IF IT IS FROM WHAT I DID, OR THE DEMENTIA NOT BEING FULLBLOWN AD

RichOBoyle_HOST> Dale can you update us a little bit? Dale is in LA

[red3] I'm in MS

[DALE] ON A PERSONAL ONE ON ONE LEVEL I NEVER LET MIRRORED THE ANGER

TO georgetwe> George -- feel free to participate in the discussion board -- your wisdom, spiritual grounding and care will be a great assistance to the other CGs

RichOBoyle_HOST> chcks... Please type ... so you dont get bumped!

[DALE] 86 YEAR OLD ADVANCED DEMENTIA MALE I AM CAREGIVNG TO

[red3] my husband is 71, his family is in CA, Riverside County

[georgetwe] Thanx, ROB

RichOBoyle_HOST> red...do you have other family close by?

[DALE] BEVERLY HILLS HERE

[red3] my mother, sister, and my son, who lives behind us

RichOBoyle_HOST> i hope they can assist sometimes...it is hard being the primary CG (caregiver)

[DALE] WOW, YOUR LUCKY RED

[DALE] FAMILY IS EVERYTHING

[red3] he resents them calling or coming by, I usually call them while he is in the shower. I do bowl every thurs with momand sis

[DALE] 24/7 HERE AND STUCK IN THE HOUSE

[red3] hubbys sister is coming this week to stay with him while I go to a pre-retirement seminar

RichOBoyle_HOST> good for you red! i am so glad that you can get some time to yourself

[DALE] ME TOO

[red3] Dale, if I retire, which I probably will, I will be 24/7 also, doing work out of my home

[DALE] CARGIVING SURE TEACHES ONE TIME MANAGEMENT

[chnkns] Is an Adult Day Care an option for the cg who are on line.

[DALE] NOT FOR ME CHNKNS

RichOBoyle_HOST> yes chnkns -- i have a link to a Directory of Adult day health programs

[red3] there is one here, mentioned it to hubby and a recreation area for seniors, and he said he wasn't interested

[DALE] THAT'S MY PROBLEM TOO, AVAILABLE BUT NOT WANTED

RichOBoyle_HOST> there may cme a time where YOU need the respite and he needs the activities to keep his mind as active as possible

DALE] I FIND IT ALL WEARS THE CAREGIVER OUT MORE

[DALE] THE BATTLE TO GO

[georgetwe] ALL CGs need some respite.

[red3] gotta go, hubby is calling for me. Thanks for the input guys,

[DALE] LIKE TO ASK WHAT ANYONE KNOWS ABOUT TRANSIENT ISCHEMIC ATTACK (MINI STOKES)

RichOBoyle_HOST> chnkns -- are you considering looking for an center

RichOBoyle_HOST> good night red and keep up the great work

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RichOBoyle_HOST> dale have you taken a look at a health site like medscape?

[DALE] YES

RichOBoyle_HOST> I prefer Medscape to drkoop, etc.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Another good source is nih.gov

[chnkns] No.... I have to be honest I am not in the same boat as others , I am a social worker in a nursing home .

RichOBoyle_HOST> NIH has many "Centers of excellene" that focus on medical conditions

RichOBoyle_HOST> chnkns...what is your caregiving situation?

[DALE] MAYO SITE I LOOKED AT BEFORE LOGGIN IN HERE

RichOBoyle_HOST> take a look at the medical research assistant on this site...there are links to my favorite health sites

[DALE] GREAT

RichOBoyle_HOST> the merck manual of geriatrics and the merck manual of diagnosis are available free and online through that interactive tool

[chnkns] I deal with a lot of families who have the same issues...visiting  with others and reading help me to do my job better.

[DALE] AM CRAZY ABOUT THE MERCK GERIATRIC SITE.

RichOBoyle_HOST> are you a geriatric care manager? or social worker?

[chnkns] Social worker

[chnkns] for 14 years... but you always learn

[DALE] AMEN

RichOBoyle_HOST> absolutely...

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RichOBoyle_HOST> i hope that you can join in from time to time and share your wisdom with the other caregivers here

RichOBoyle_HOST> Hello Amy and welcome to ElderCare Answers

[chnkns] and this is a subject that is close to my heart.

RichOBoyle_HOST> so many CGs need that emotional and practical support...

[Amey] Hello everyone. This is my first time to chat

RichOBoyle_HOST> welcome and dont worry too much about typos and mispellings

RichOBoyle_HOST> we've just been discussing a few topics, like anger in an AD patient and finding good info on health on the WWW

RichOBoyle_HOST> Amey...what is your care situation and how can we help?

[Amey] I am caring for my husband who has been diagnosed with multi infarct dementia. My situation is pretty much 24/7 with an occasional day off when his sons will step in.

RichOBoyle_HOST> chnkns is a social worker, Dale is a 24/7 caregiver and George's wife has AD

RichOBoyle_HOST> I am glad that you are getting that support from your sons

[Amey] I am wondering about financial assistance. Is there anything out there.

[georgetwe] What's 24/7?

RichOBoyle_HOST> 24 hours a day...7 days a week

[georgetwe] I know THAT feeling.

RichOBoyle_HOST> where do you live Amey?

[Amey] I do pretty well as long as he sleeps all night or nearly all night. When I get short changed on my rest it gets difficult.

[Amey] I live in Texas. Small town america

RichOBoyle_HOST> there is little direct cash assistance...but you can try your best to take advantage of local assistance

RichOBoyle_HOST> Unfortunately that is going to make it kind of tough

[Amey] There is no local assistance that I know of. Not even a respite care place.

RichOBoyle_HOST> you should contact you county area agency on aging

[Amey] I would love to start an adult day care.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Take a look at the Neighborhood Networks section of the Community Center on this site

[georgetwe] Some of the folk in our church have been of tremendous help.

RichOBoyle_HOST> there are state, county and local resources for most states (including Texas)

RichOBoyle_HOST> Amey...are you active in your church or community?

[Amey] I have had a lot of offers of help from friends, but right now my husband is still aware enough of things that someone else coming in to help would not be feasible.

RichOBoyle_HOST> I have heard of some families helping each other out with

- day care-type help so that you are not fully burdened

RichOBoyle_HOST> why isn't it feasible?

RichOBoyle_HOST> maybe you can start with both you and the friend being there

[georgetwe] Amey, does your husb recognize his friends? Like any?

RichOBoyle_HOST> and then gradually leaving them alone for longer periods of time

[Amey] Yes, I am fairly active in my church or was. I try to work one day a week with our home health agency, which is where I was working before I had to quit.

[Amey] Yes it is really strange that he recognizes nearly everyone---except me.

[Amey] I think he would be on the defensive if someone else came in right now.

RichOBoyle_HOST> oh I am so sorry to hear that Amey :(

[georgetwe] My wife often calls our daughter her mom.

RichOBoyle_HOST> maybe you can ask the volunteers to help you with other CG tasks...like helping with shopping or running errands

[Amey] Sometimes it is really funny. Generally he thinks I am 'that boy' who takes care of him, or if we are driving somewhere i suddenly become one of his eldest son's best friends

RichOBoyle_HOST> i guess you have to laugh at that sometimes

[Amey] At this time, he is still mobile and gets cabin fever about every two hours. We spend a lot of time riding around in the car.

[georgetwe] B4 getting AD my wife was always very gentle; now she angers easily, w/o provocation.

[Amey] My husband is on Risperdal or I think I would have a lot of anger and aggression to deal with

RichOBoyle_HOST> I have heard other CGs say that their loved one reacts the opposite from how they were b4 AD...angry becomes sweet and vice versa

RichOBoyle_HOST> I dont know if there is a medical explanation

RichOBoyle_HOST> Amey..is risperdal specifically for anger and agression?

[Amey] Unfortunately, the medication causes a lot of side effects. No it is

- more of an antipsychotic and helps to handle the hallucinations.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Amey...have you taken a look at the articles on activities for AD patients?

[Amey] He has severe paranoid hallucinations without it.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Jan Allen has written a few very good pieces on behavior management

[Amey] No, i haven't

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RichOBoyle_HOST> Hello Ray and Welcome to ElderCare Answers

[Amey] Where would i find those articles

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RichOBoyle_HOST> go to the Alzheimer's & Dementia Care Channel

[RAY7] helllo everyone

RichOBoyle_HOST> also, Jan Allen's website is linked to the Caregiver Support Network in the Community Center

[Amey] Hello Ray

[chnkns] hi ray

[RAY7] HI AMEY

RichOBoyle_HOST> Ray...we are discussing behavior management and anger

[RAY7] CHNKNS HELLO

RichOBoyle_HOST> how have all of you discovered this chatroom? Email, newsletter, newsgroup?

[georgetwe] I must leave now, but may be able to get back. God bless you all.

[Amey] Email

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[Amey] Bye Georgetwe

RichOBoyle_HOST> goodnight george...thanks for coming by and thanks for your support

[chnkns] Email from a friend of mine

RichOBoyle_HOST> welcome back Dale!

[RAY7] IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET ON THESE CHATS AS I GET THE E-MAIL BUT THIS IS THE 1ST

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RichOBoyle_HOST> sometimes it is hard to find the time and remember to come here

RichOBoyle_HOST> but I always post the transcript within a day or so

RichOBoyle_HOST> where are you calling from Ray?

[Amey] I have been trying to get on for several weeks but something always gets in the way

[RAY7] INDIANAPOLIS

[DALE] I WANT 24/7

RichOBoyle_HOST> and what is your CG (caregiving) situation?

RichOBoyle_HOST> Dale...we're slooooowly working on it :)

[Amey] Are you talking about 24/7 access to chat

RichOBoyle_HOST> yeah...so there is always a host available

[RAY7] BOTH PARENTS LIVE AT HOME FATHER BEDRIDDEN BLIND HAD STROKE MOTHER

- HAS ALZ.

[Amey] Boy that WOULD be great.

RichOBoyle_HOST> Do you live with them Ray?

[Amey] Ray, sounds like you REALLY have your hands full.

[RAY7] NO I HIRED A CAREGIVER WHILE IM AT WORK HOWEVER MYSELF AND MY WIFE LIVE FEW BLOCKS AWAY

RichOBoyle_HOST> yes amey...dale and i have talked much about it..

[RAY7] IVE HAD A CAREGIVER FOR 3 YEARS NOW

RichOBoyle_HOST> how is that working out?

[RAY7] MYSELF AND WIFE GOT TO MY PARENTS EVERYMOURNING 6 AM AND AT NIGHT TO MAKE SURE ALL OKAND GIVE MEDS

[DALE] WHO IS THE CAREGIVER?

[Amey] Do you have someone with them 24 hours a day?

[RAY7] IVE HAD A TOTAL OF 2 DIFFERENT CAREGIVERS IN THIS TIME , THE 1ST ONE LIKED TO SLEEP,BUT I INSTALLED CAMERA THE ONE I HAVE NOW HAS BEEN WITH ME FOR 2 YEARS

[DALE] LUCKY YOU I AM LOOKING FOR ONE MYSELF

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RichOBoyle_HOST> it is so important to have a good comfort level with the CGs

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[RAY7] NO NOT 24 HOURS CAREGIVER IS THERE FROM 7 AM TIL 6 PM MON. THRU SAT I AM THERE ON SUNDAYS . MYSELF AND WIFE DO WHAT WE CALL DRIVE BYS TIL BEDTIME TO SEE IF LIGHTS ARE ON . I ALSO HAVE A WALKIE TALKIE THAT MY FATHER HAS IT HAS ALARM THAT HE CAN HIT IN MIDDLE OF NIGHT MINE IS LEFT ON SO I CAN HEAR.

RichOBoyle_HOST> what's on your mind tonight Ray?

[Amey] It is going to be very hard for me to bring in someone else, I have always had the attitude that if you wnat it done right do it yourself. Since I have had 12 years in a nursing home position, i will have difficulty finding anyone to do what I can do.

RichOBoyle_HOST> ray .. you're doing a great job...

[RAY7] SINCE THIS IS MY 1ST I THOUGHT I LISTEN MOSTLY PICK UP TIPS ETC

RichOBoyle_HOST> amey it wil be important to give up some day to day responsibility some tiems

[RAY7] T I DID AT 1ST . HOWEVER I GOT A PO BOX AND PUT AN AD IN FOR 4 DAYS RECEIVED 55 RESPONSES

RichOBoyle_HOST> make sure that you bring in top quality if you can find them

[Amey] Does it make you nervous their being alone at night?

RichOBoyle_HOST> i ahve heard so much about a shortage of good help

[Amey] That's the truth. I have worked home health for the past 3 years and there is always someone looking for caregivers.

[RAY7] SOMETIMES HOWEVER MY FATHER EVEN THOUGH BLIND HAS HIS SMARTS MY MOTHER STILL KNOWS WHO HE IS.. IF NEEDED HE CAN HIT ALARM

[Amey] What you wind up getting frequently are untrained, uneducated girls, or women past SS age who nee to supplement their income. Some of them are very good, some are pretty bad

RichOBoyle_HOST> sounds like you are making the best oft he situation ray

[RAY7] FOR THE SMALL COST OF CAMERA IT HELPS I LET THE CARE GIVER KNOW I CAN SEE WHATS GOING ON

RichOBoyle_HOST> even if the camera is NOT working :)

[RAY7] IT TAKES AWAY FROM BEING ABLE TO VAC. AND GO ALOT BUT NOW IM ABLE TO WORK

RichOBoyle_HOST> have you bvoth seen the article on hiring in-home care?

[Amey] I cared for a functional quadriplegic many years ago and she taught me more than I ever learned in nursing school about caring for invalids. She stayed by herself at night too

[Amey] Which article

RichOBoyle_HOST> Amey...can you give me and Ray one good tip ?

[RAY7] I THINK SO QUESTIONS WHAT TO ASK ETC

RichOBoyle_HOST> look in the Home Care & Independent Living Channel

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RichOBoyle_HOST> oops...Independent Living Channel

RichOBoyle_HOST> Hello Sue and welcome to ElderCare Answers

[Amey] I think the best tip I could give anyone would be to find something to laugh about as often as possible

[Amey] Hello Sue

[RAY7] TRUE

[sue6789] Hello

[RAY7] HELLO SUE

RichOBoyle_HOST> even if it is something that your loved one does ? :)

RichOBoyle_HOST> sue...don't worry too much about typos and spelling

[Amey] My favorite thing to laugh about with my husband is the little boy who lives in our trash can. He sees him and just gets the biggest kick out of it.

RichOBoyle_HOST> i just posted a funny joke/story in the discussion board...under Affirmation & Inspiration

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RichOBoyle_HOST> how about you Ray?

Amey] One night I couldn't find my husband's dentures. I asked him where they were and he told me they were in the blue cup in the bathroom. I checked, they weren't there. As I walked out of the bathroom I saw them----they were in my SHOE on top of the dresser.

RichOBoyle_HOST> hahaha

[RAY7] IF I DIDNT LAUGH AND KEEP MY MIND RIGHT IT WOULD GET TOUGH GOT TO SORT OUT WHAT IS PRIORITY AND TAKE CARE OF IT LET THE OTHERS LITTLE THINGS GO

[Amey] One of my friends asked me if I knew where my insoles were :-)

RichOBoyle_HOST> LOL

[Amey] The internet and email have been my mental salvation

RichOBoyle_HOST> since you guys came in midway...I will post the transcript later tonight or tomorrow

RichOBoyle_HOST> amey do you participate in other online support groups?

[Amey] Not really.

RichOBoyle_HOST> I maintain a directory of chat sessions and support groups called the World Wide Chat Guide. It is just eldercare chatsd that have good attendance and moderated sessions

[Amey] Are there a lot of them

RichOBoyle_HOST> you can usually find one each night and most days as well. I plan to add several more chats in the next day or two from another major site.

[Amey] I would have more luck with the evening ones. He keeps me pretty busy during the day

RichOBoyle_HOST> timing is always a problem with AD CGs (alzheimr's disease caregivers)

[Amey] Where are you from Rich?

RichOBoyle_HOST> I am in Islip, NY...outside NYC

OST> i am looking for the drug assitance programs...

[RAY7] SHE GOT LOST POLICE FOUND HER AND CALLED 6 HOURS LATER

[Amey] I got some assistance with my husbands meds through the county outreach center with the state MHMR

RichOBoyle_HOST> I also have an article on "Taking Away the Car Keys"

RichOBoyle_HOST> Hello Susanna and welcome to ElderCare Answers

[RAY7] WHAT DOES MHMR STAND FOR /

RichOBoyle_HOST> the directory of drug assistance programs is in the Medical Research Assistant interactive tool

[Susanna] Thank you

[Amey] I have the car keys and every other kind of key but he wants to drive and will get in the drivers seat and not let me in the car

RichOBoyle_HOST> mhmr??? what is the context? medical diagnosis?

[Amey] MHMR is Mental Health and Mental Retardation

[RAY7] WAS THEIR A WAITING LIST AND HOW EASY WAS IT TO GET

RichOBoyle_HOST> amey...you will have to find the technique that works best for you and him...for example, maybe you can hide the keys and/or have a mechanic disengage some wires

[Amey] No there was not a waiting list. and I had no trouble getting it.

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RichOBoyle_HOST> i dont personally have experience with the drug programs...please contact them directly...it is the drug company that manages it.

[RAY7] ILL CK OUT OUR COUNTY SEE WHAT THE REQUIREMENTS ARE

[Amey] So far I have just outwaited him on the car. It just breaks my heart when he asks me "Can I please drive, just a little bit"

RichOBoyle_HOST> they usually have income requirements and then your doctor can help fill out some other paperwork requirements

RichOBoyle_HOST> does it help to have him in the passenger seat?

[RAY7] PULL THR COIL AND TELL HIM ITS THE ENGINE AND PART IS ON ORDER THAT WILL GIVE U TIME AND HIM HOPE

[Amey] Yes, he will usually give in if he wants to go somewhere and like I said he gets cabin fever about every two hours.

RichOBoyle_HOST> it just isnt an option to let him drive even a little

RichOBoyle_HOST> its important to understand what driving represents -- it   means independence and adulthood and sometimes masculinity

[RAY7] TRICH ILL CK IT OUT IVE HAD EVUATIONS TRYING TO GET ASST. BUT IT SEEMS THEY THINK I CAN DO IT SO NOTHING HAPPENS

[Amey] No, he apparently has very little if any peripheral vision and also has a blank in his visual field since his stroke. I realize that to him giving up driving is like giving up independence and everything he has been able to do.

[RAY7] MY MOTHER AND FATHER WENT THROUGH THE CAR THING ...BEST TO DISABLE SO NOTHING HAPPENS

[Amey] Ray, I received a form at one time to apply for assistance from one of the major companies. I can'tlay my hands on it right now but I can find out what the address is and send it to you if you don't mind giving me your email address.

RichOBoyle_HOST> just in case he takes it upon himself to sneak a spin around the block

[Amey] Hey I SLEEP with the keys

[RAY7] OK THANKS

RichOBoyle_HOST> try the directory again...i think it has contact info for most of thedrug companies

[RAY7] STILL BEST TO DIABLE CAR SO U DONT FORGET AND DROP KEYS AND HE FINDS

RichOBoyle_HOST> I want to thank you for coming by...I hope that it has been informative and you had a nice chance to connect with other caregivers. Please sign up for the newsletter for site updates and some exciting new chat sessions that we wil be sponsoring.

[Amey] I wish cars were still as simple as they used to be. Thanks Rich

[RAY7] ive got to go but good talking to everyone thanks i get in the next one

RichOBoyle_HOST> next wednesday same time and place (9PM) Eastern time

RichOBoyle_HOST> Amey..take a look att he article on Taking Away the Car Keys; It is in the Home Care & Independet Living Channel.

[Amey] Okay Thanks

[RAY7] Amey, pull the spark plug wires 3 of them the car wont start

[Amey] Electronic ignition

RichOBoyle_HOST> Ask a mechanic...I wonder if they have special keypad locks with access codes??

[RAY7] put a potato in the exaust pipe it wont start

Amey] I might try that ray

[RAY7] he will never know

[Amey] Maybe

[RAY7] goodnight eveyone

[Amey] G'night

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